Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Lessons in the kitchen

I have been listening to a lot of worship music this week, trying to get my focus back on God and the amazing things He has done for us. One song in particular touched me, and while its words aren't exactly my situation, I knew it was something I wanted to think about more. 

The song is 'Porcelain Heart' by BarlowGirl. 

I think it is talking more about the healing of a broken heart, but the  two lines that really touched me were

'Creator only You take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again'

Let me tell you what happened... 

Today was going fabulously well... At least it was until I started to make dinner! I got up this morning with a spring in my step, a list of things I wanted to accomplish and a desire to get something done. I left the boys into school and came home ready to get going. 

1. Make the beds and open all the windows
2. Switch the laundry and put away any dry clothes
3. Do the basket of ironing and put away
4. Sort the boys wardrobes out and pick up any rubbish in their rooms
5. Clean the en-suite and the bathroom
6. Make a healthy lunch and don't eat any chocolate!
7. Collect the boys at 2pm, 3pm and 3:45pm from school
8. Prepare a chicken casserole for dinner

WOW!! I managed to get everything on my list done - and done well - until I hit dinner. I was making a chicken casserole and I had everything cut, prepared and the sauce made when I moved the casserole dish the wrong way and sent the sauce flying all over my kitchen floor... And I mean ALL over my kitchen floor. 

I was gutted - this is a favourite meal in our house and it just wasn't going to be the same!! I felt like I had worked hard all day on things that aren't seen or noticed and then the one thing I was likely to get a compliment for went wrong...

But as I thought about it, I realised that everything today was wrong because I had forgotten (yet again) to focus on God and do it for Him rather than for my own praise. I looked at my desire for a "good job mum" or a "you've worked hard today" from my hubby and I saw the ugliness, selfishness and brokenness that is me. Because this has always been a problem for me - laziness mixed with selfishness and a desire to get praise and glory for doing very little. Taking rather than giving. Only doing the bare minimum to get by.

And then this song played in the background, and I heard that line...

'Creator only You take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again'

and once again I was reminded of the love, mercy and grace that my Creator God showers me with, making my brokenness into something beautiful. 

In the end the boys likes their tea and my husband did notice that I'd worked hard. But the real success of today came in the fact that I ended the day focused on God and safe in the knowledge that as I work through my brokenness and faults and failures, He is there right beside me turning it into something beautiful. I can't wait to see what lesson tomorrow brings!! 

Keep shining... 

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