Friday, 19 May 2017

I am capable...

Today's topic is being capable. It's thinking about the many small steps that bring about big changes, and how amazing and how capable it makes you feel. 

That's the idea anyway. 

In my life so far I don't think I've achieved much. I was blessed with a wonderful family and got to go to a great university but when I got there it all fell to pieces. I started one course, failed an exam (an important one!) and changed to a different one. 

Unfortunately for the next 3 years my attention was elsewhere, and I ended up coming out of uni with a pass degree - yes it's a degree but really - it's not worth the paper it's written on. No one wants a pass degree. All it does is show you went to uni and messed around for 3 years. 

I had an offer to do a primary school PGCE at Coleraine - but they don't take passes. 

I had an offer to go away to England and do it - but guess what they don't take... passes. 

So I went back to working in the shop I'd grown up working in, and stayed there - not even going through the ranks - just staying as a sales girl. 

Then we got married and went to work with a ministry organisation. Again I didn't really have a place - I was working with my husband, raising our boys and then doing some actual ministry work with some ladies... but I don't feel like I achieved anything. 

And finally I managed to get through my Classroom Assistants course - and get a job that I love in P1. 

And yes I feel like I achieved something getting my job and being able to go to work in a place I love, but apart from that, there's nothing great about my life in this area. 

No big fears that I worked towards and no big things I overcame to achieve my dreams. Nothing. 

Now I know that I'm extremely blessed, and I know that there is a lot of wonderful things about my life - don't get me wrong - but this topic is achievements, being capable of things and working towards goals. 

And unfortunately I don't really think I've done that. Someone recently asked me what I'd done with my life and to be honest I struggled to answer.  

So I'm struggling with this one. It's very thought provoking. I know ultimately God has a plan for my life - but I sometimes feel like I've messed up and missed it - or that I've let it pass me by without even seeing it. 

Thankfully the second prompt is a lot easier!! 

Who made you feel good this week? What did they say?

This is a wee short one - not because I don't have people who have made me feel good today, but because I'm surrounded by wonderful people and it's way too personal to share on here. 

I have a wonderful family who build me up and help me grow, a wonderful set of work mates who are an amazing team, and extraordinary friends who love me. They all help me - whether it's a wee timely text, a hug or a word of encouragement and I couldn't do life without them. In this I truly have won the jackpot and I can only pray that I am as encouraging to them as they are to me. 

So there we go! 

Keep shining xx 

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